I Can't Do This
by cartoonlove
Summary: Harold and Patty story, I love Helga and Arnold but I wanted to in a different direction. Being redone, chapters will be deleted and replaced, just to warn you. Chapter 7,9, and 10 revised currently. Chap. 11 now up! Reviews wanted.
1. It Was Her

I Can't Do This

By: cartoonlove

I don't own any of the Hey Arnold characters unfortunately.

**It Was Her**

Harold watched her as he took in a shaky breath.

It was her.

Sitting on the ledge of the wall surrounding Hillwood Park.

Her blue plaid skirt and blue sweater she always wore (they were her favorite, it was just something Harold knew), her blonde hair tucked behind her ears as she sadly watched people with their friends and/or boyfriends and girlfriends.

Patty. HIS Patty.

But she didn't know it yet.

He slowly approached her.

"Hey Patty?" he asked nervously.

Patty turned around, knowing that voice anywhere. "Oh, hi Harold!" her voice doing little to mask the excitement.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh………" Harold's mouth suddenly went dry and his mind blank.

"Yes Harold?" she asked expectantly.

"Uhhhhhh……nice sweater!" he blurted. Realizing how stupid she would think he was, he bolted out of that park faster than anything.

"Harold, wait!" she called after him.

But he was already bolting down the street.

………………………………...

Running faster (and farther) than he had in his entire life, Harold finally came to a stop in an alleyway that looked like it had been inhabited in years.

Feeling light-headed more so from the embarrassment rather than the running, Harold collapsed against the brick wall.

"Idiot!" he yelled, "Why? Why can't I ever say the right thing????"

"Harold?"

His head shot up so fast he knocked it against the brick, hard.

"Owwwwwwwww!!!!!! Arnold, what are you doing here??"

Arnold looked at Harold quizzically. "Harold, I live here."

Now it was Harold's turn to look confused. "In the alley?"

"No! Geez Harold, how hard did you hit your head? This is the alleyway next to the boarding house."

Looking up, he could see Arnold was right. There was the boarding house, with Oscar leaning out the window with his saxophone. Harold cringed at the noise.

"Oh."

"So why so stressed?" Arnold asked.

"Who said I'm stressed??? Was it Patty? Oh I'm gonna pound her!" Harold snarled.

The football-headed boy put his hands up in defense, "Geez Harold, I was just asking, and what does Patty have to do with anything?"

Realizing his slip, Harold stuttered, "N-N-Nothing Arnold! Go and feed your pig or something ok??"

"Ok Harold, see you later ok?"

"Whatever."

_He needs to be alone, _Arnold smiled to himself, _he's in love._


	2. What Now?

What Now?

Arnold climbed up the fire escape and out of Harold's sight, the smirk still gracing the football-headed boy's face. As soon as he was gone, Harold muttered,"Arnold's such a nosy baby, what does HE know anyway? I don't like Patty, she's just a dumb girl, yeah that's it."

Suddenly happy with the new realization, if you could call it that, the heavy set 13 year-old marched down the sidewalk in dignified stride, which quickly turned into a shameful race as soon as he spotted the Jolly Olly Man at end of the block.

But something made him skid to a stop that sent him flying face-first into the sidewalk.

Patty.

Harold was glad she couldn't see his face because it was turning into the color equivalent of a cherry.

He looked up, and she was standing above him, the left part of her unibrow raised. "Bad day?" she sarcastically remarked.

Harold's face turned even redder, not just from embarrassment, but from anger.

"Hey! Who said I was having a bad day????"

"So you meant to fall?"

"Can it or I'm gonna pound you!!!!!" he shook his fist in rage.

Then she noticed a particualry thick trickle of blood coming from the gash in his forehead.

"Harold! Listen to me! You're bleeding, pretty bad too I must say." Patty interrupted.

He felt his head and found that she was right. "Mom-"

The blonde girl clamped her hand over his mouth,"Don't call for your mommy okay? Come on to my house, it's closer and I have a first aid kit."

Harold huffed,"Fine."

"Stay still Harold! I can't stop the bleeding if you're moving all the time!" she ordered bluntly.

"But it burns!" he whined as Patty dabbed at his forehead with astringent.

"Can it or it's going up your nose!"

Before she could do anything, Harold grabbed her wrist and brought her face down to eye level. "Don't you dare!" he hissed.

He moved his face in closer, subconsiously. He and Patty's faces were only inches apart, and she wondered if he was going to do what she thought he was going to do.

It felt weird being this close to her, yet so...right.

"Harold?" she asked softly.

Jolting back to reality, Harold realized what he possibly(and probably would have) done.

"Uh...I have to go, thanks a lot Patty!" and he ran out of the apartment.

What he didn't know was he had left Patty, dazed and mostly confused as to just what exactly did (or didn't) happen.

A/N: An almost kiss!!! Sorry, but it's way too soon in the story for that!!!!!!!! I'd like reviews, good or negative, I really don't mind D


	3. Tell Them Pt 1

A/N: Hello again, I basically have nothing to do which is why this story is getting updated so frequently. Ha ha. And thank you for all your reviews (even you Flame Rising)!

If you want to see I don't own any of the characters, see Chapter 1.

Oh, and if anyone has any ideas for coming chapters, please don't hesitate to tell me.

**Tell Them Pt. 1**

"CRAP!!!!!!!!!!" Harold yelled as he bounded down the street. Unfortunately he had yet another moment of bad luck. It turns out Helga was planting flowers in the shape of - guess who, and she was right in his way.

He skidded to a stop but not without managing to fall on the flowers.

Harold looked up, Helga's unibrow was furrowed in anger on her beet-red face as she looked down the shrine she had worked so hard on, now smashed to ground-level.

"Come here PINK-BOY!!!!!!!!!! You're in for a nice long visit from OLD BETSY!!!!!!" she raged.

Without realizing it, he started to cry.

Helga lowered her fist, unsure of what to do. "Harold? What's the matter?" she was even surprised at how sincere she sounded.

"I want MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!"

Helga grinned, now THIS is what she was prepared for. She raised her sleeve yet again.

Arnold didn't go to his room as he had said though. He had followed the 13 year-old, cringed when he fell, and cringed even more at his "episode" at Patty's.

And now, Harold was in for an even BIGGER problem. Helga.

_She's going to screw this up! I know it! _Arnold said under his breath. He took off in a run to rescue the unlucky boy.

_Hmm, a nine year-old rescuing a thirteen year-old, that's just sad._ Arnold smiled in spite of himself.

"Helga!!!!!" the football head screamed.

Harold watched as she lowered her fist, and he noticed a small flicker of different emotions in her eyes, nervousness, excitement, and he swore he heard Helga's breath catch in her throat. It wasn't long, but he could see it. But what puzzled him was **why** exactly. He shook it off as his imagination.

"What do YOU want football-head???" she spat.

"Don't beat him up, okay Helga? He is having a really bad day." he calmly said.

"And I care why Arnoldo?" Helga raised the left side of her unibrow.

He motioned to her to lean over. "Helga," he whispered in her ear,"take it easy on him, he's in love."

Helga's skin prickled, just hearing that word "love" coming from her dearly beloved lips were sending her into a cloud.

"What are you telling her??" Harold yelled as he struggled to get to his feet.

Helga turned and wanted to punch him, he took her out of her cloud for goodness sakes!

"Well I have to go." Arnold said, he looked worried to go, leaving Harold and Helga alone, but he needed to help Grandpa clean the piano pieces off the sidewalk. His Grandma has somehow gotten the idea that the piano they had on the roof needed to fly, and well...it didn't end well.

As soon as he was gone Helga turned to Harold. "It's Patty isn't it?"

"What? I'm not in love with Patty!!!" he retorted.

Helga smirked,"Who said anything about love?"

Realizing his mistake, he started stuttering,"Uhh, w- w- well I just thought..."

She cut him off,"It's so obvious Pink Boy, just tell her. How hard could it be?"

"Oh," Harold sported an evil grin, "If it's SO EASY, why don't you tell Arnold and you're in love with him?!?

_**to be continued...**_

A/N: Oh! He knows! Part 2 will be up soon!


	4. Tell Them Pt 2

A/N: Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews! And yes, Arnold does seem OOC in this story, which is probably the reason I chose to do Harold and Patty, they're easier, ha ha.

**Tell Them Pt. 2**

Helga froze, "Excuse me? What was that pink boy?"

Harold gazed down at a lone pebble near his foot, suddenly regretting his question, "Uhhh...never mind."

She glared, "Good. Do we understand each other then?"

It was more of an order than a question.

He kicked the pebble, "Yeah yeah, whatever Helga." and walked away from a situation which could've (and most likely would've) ended in sudden death for the 13 year-old.

His relief on his face soon turned into a sinister and caning grin when he spied two little kids, both with Jolly Olly ice creams in their hands.

Harold licked his lips, remembering his lost cone a couple hours earlier.

Helga watched the heavy pink boy walk away with a grin on her face. "Harold, what a buffoon," she flung a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes and began walking in the opposite direction.

She walked down past Mrs. Vitello's Flower Shop (she recognized the upteenth plant sculpture in the shape of Arnold's head), then after about 45 minutes the 70 something year old chased Helga away from her store front.

"Grrr...," she muttered under her breath, the broom hitting her ankles as she ran away, "the old bat can't take some good staring she's got another thing coming!!!!"

The angry pig-tailed girl stomped down the sidewalk, but soon found refuge behind a trashcan.

Glancing around to make sure she was alone, Helga pulled out her locket.

"Oh Arnold, why must I be so horrible to everyone? Especially you. I've been in love with you for the past 6 years, yet I still treat you like everybody else." she sighed, "Oh my beloved, what must I do??"

Well as it turns out, she didn't have to wait very long for the answer, because Arnold was walking by at that exact moment.

He had heard **every single word.**

A/N: Yeah I decided to make it kind of a parallel story between Helga & Arnold and Harold & Patty, let me know how it's going so far!


	5. Overheard and Undeniable

**Overheard and Undeniable**

Arnold froze in his tracks. What he just overheard, _it couldn't be possible_, he thought to himself. He was feeling a little lightheaded. Then he realized he hadn't breathed in at least a minute.

Exhaling, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to get his head back in order. He didn't know how long he sat against that wall, but he suddenly was jolted back to the moment by a voice.

"Hey Arnoldo!" The girl taunted harshly, "You takin' a nap or something??"

.Arnold's eyes flew open, "Uhhh...uhh..." he noticed his hat had blown off, "Uh...I got to go Helga! See ya!" And grabbing his hat, he fled to the park.

Helga gave a curious expression as she watch her beloved football-head rushed off. _Wonder what's gotten into him, _she thought. Deciding to find out on one of her "stalking" er, I mean, "following" episodes, she followed him down the pavement into Hillwood Park.

Finding "their" tree, (the one with A + H engraved in its dark brown bark), she crouched behind it, watching her dearly beloved sitting on the bench not 3 feet away, his head in his hands.

"How? This...this...isn't possible!" he exclaimed, his words muffled by his hands.

Curious, Helga climbed onto the branches to hear (and see) him better. Gripping the bark as she leaned to get a better view, she heard him argue with himself. About what? She had not the slightest idea.

"No...no no!!! There's just no way, no possible-"

Suddenly, Helga felt the branch give way, suddenly she was on the grass, her head hurt, and so did everything else on the nine year-old's body.

Arnold gazed down at her from the bench, "Helga?! What the-" at that moment, the garbage truck went rumbling by, "--are you doing??"

Helga looked up at her beloved, a guilty yet embarrassed smile, "Hey football-head! Weird seeing you around!"

Arnold raised one eyebrow, "Uhh, I just saw you five minutes ago Helga."

Her eyes widening, she exclaimed, "Really? Wow, it's funny how time flies when you're..." she looked down at the broken tree branch, "...climbing trees!"

He sighed, "Well...are you okay at least?" he extended his hand.

She glared at his hand, then reluctantly taking it, she stood up, eye-to-eye with Arnold.

"I'm...fine." Helga said.

Arnold looked into her eyes, they were blue, and they told something of her that he hadn't seen before, he couldn't exactly place it.

It was then they realized that their hands were still locked together.

"Umm, I have to go, bye Helga!" again Arnold took off.

And it was a good thing he had, or he would have seen Helga blushing, or _someone _watching from the bushes.

A/N: I am feeling very giddy today, on account of tomorrow being the last day of school, so I though I'd update! Thanks for all the reviews!


	6. The Questions

**The Question(s)**

The figure in the bushes smirked. _I knew it, _they thought triumphantly. Standing up, the figure came to one conclusion, _I've got to catch him. _

Taking off in the direction of the boarding house, it didn't take long. The figure spotted him.

Arnold jumped as a hand rested on his shoulder.

"Hey! Calm down!"

He turned and looked up into the eyes of Patty.

Helga sat dumbfounded in the middle of broken tree branches due to her "escapade". _I wonder what's going on with my beloved, _she thought.

Brushing herself off, she decided she'd better get home, or her parents might...go on living their lives. She scoffed at the thought as she exited the park...and into Pink Boy.

"Hey watch it!" Helga shook her fist at him.

"YOU watch it!" Harold said. He swung at her hard...and missed, again.

"Are you okay Pink Boy? I've never seen that much concentration on your face since you couldn't get the wrapper off that twinkie at lunch." she said sarcastically.

Harold sighed, the days' events were catching up to him. "No, I'm not."

Helga's eyes widened, "What's wrong?"

He gave a second, yet heavier sigh and took a seat on the bench, "Well..." he stalled.

She joined him, "Well spit it out Fat Boy! We don't have all day!"

"Fat Boy! Why I otta---"

"Just tell me what--"

Soon they both couldn't hear the other in their mix of insults and screams.

"PATTY LIKES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That shut Helga up. For about two seconds.

She started laughing uncontrollably , then the laughter turned to snorts.

"Hey! What's so funny???" He demanded, somewhat offended.

Helga snorted, "It----took-----you," she paused to let out a snort, "long------enough!"

Harold looked at her, clueless.

At the same time, Arnold was going through the same ordeal.

"What's upsetting you so bad?" Patty asked in her somewhat monotone voice.

Arnold plumped down on the stoop in front of the boarding house, putting his head in his hands, he told the she-bully the story.

She listened intently, nodding with empathy.

When he finished, Patty smiled.

"I know." was all she said.

He looked up, "You KNEW???? Why didn't you TELL me???" It was unlike Arnold to yell, but in this case, he made an exception.

Patty smiled, "You would be blind to not figure it out yourself" she paused, "and now there is only one question that could solve this once and for all."

"And that would be..."

She scooted closer to him, "How do you feel about her?"

Helga listened to Harold's story. But with far less empathy, interjecting her own opinions and jokes at the worst possible moments.

"I just don't know what to do!" Harold finished.

"Well, do you love her?"

And with that, Helga strode down the street.

The question hung there, in the silence, with two people pondering it's answer.

A/N: I decided I'd update because a storm knocked my power out for a couple hours and internet service out for about a week, and I thought I would celebrate! If anyone has any suggestions at all for this story, don't hesitate to tell me!


	7. Scared Doesn't Exist

**Scared Doesn't Exist**

Helga laid in her bed later that night, still pondering Harold's question. It wasn't that she didn't know the answer of course, but she wondered if Harold would admit the "secret" that he seemed to devout on keeping hidden from the rest of the world, even though you could see it from space!

Suddenly Helga, overcome with a very large sense of deja vu, sat up in her pink nightgown (Arnold's locket safely hidden under the fabric) and gazed out her window.

The street lights were out, a once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence for Hillwood, so there was a fairly good view of the moon. Leaning against the window, she thought to _herself, If Harold had asked me what I had asked him, would I admit it_?

She snorted in spite of herself, "Heck no!" as she leaned her head against the window pane, it had been a pretty trying day, and she _was_ pretty exhausted, and before she knew it, she was fast asleep.

And her hand clasped around her most prized possession, her locket.

Too soon for her own liking, Helga, now tangled in her bedsheets somehow, was awoken by a noise. It seemed far away at first, then louder, more urgent. She realized it was coming from the window.

A strong wave of fear washed over her, however, Helga G. Pataki didn't get scared.

Heck, scared wasn't even in her vocabulary.

Being the headstrong girl that she was, she bravely turned and looked to find the source of the disturbance.

That_ disturbance _has a football-shaped head.

Helga gasped, and quickly hid the locket once again. Shoving open the window with the anger of only a person deprived of sleep could do, and glared at him.

"What in Christ's name are you DOING football-head??"

she glanced at her teddy bear clock, "It's 3 in the morning!!"

Arnold remained silent, wringing his hands, "I uh, I needed to talk to you."

"Well you picked the BEST time!" sarcasm evident in every word. She knew she was being rude, but hey, true love can wait until breakfast can't it??

Her night visitor was evidently uncomfortable, in all senses.

Shifting his weight in the tree branch, it gave way.

There was no scream, no sound. Just a sharp intake of breath as he realized he wasn't dead. He looked up to what had saved him, he looked up into the eyes of Helga. Their hands were clapsed together, she had saved him, from most notably a very bad fall, perhaps a fatal one.

Helga looked back at him, she knew she couldn't hold him over the edge of her window forever, and that he must be getting heavy.

But she didn't feel it.

All she felt was the warmth of his hand, and the gentle yet bewildered look in his eyes.

Eyes that were looking at _her. _

But the spell had to end at one time or another, so she pulled him over the windowsill, careful not to hurt him. She didn't even stop to think, _Arnold is in my ROOM. _

She was numb. But her heart was as active as ever.

"So talk football-head. I'm interested to know what was so important that you interrupted my beauty sleep." she said this with no hint of a smile, but Arnold could tell a part of her was.

He cleared his throat, "Well, I kind of heard you say something..."

Helga's eyebrows went up at this. "Like what?"

He tugged at his pj collar (he didn't sleep well). "That you loved me."

There it was, out in the open, silence followed for a good 4 or 5 seconds.

"What?? That's absurd!" she scoffed.

"Well Helga, I heard it. Is it really true?"

Realizing her mistake, she coughed. "Uh...allergies!" She coughed again.

He stared at her in wonder, "It's true! Isn't it??"

She covered her ears, "No. No. No. NO!"

"Shh!" Arnold put a hand over her mouth, shushing her. "You'll wake your Mr. and Mrs. Pataki!" He glanced at the door. After a moment, he turned back to face her, discovering his hand damp.

It was then he realized she was crying. Helga Pataki. Bully. Crying.

Those combination of words seemed...odd...to him.

"Helga? Are you okay?" he asked anxiously. Truly, this was remarkable.

Removing his hand, her only answer was a nod.

"I don't think you are. You want to-"

Suddenly Helga broke down. Her shoulders shook as tears fell. She couldn't hold it in anymore. All the secrets, all the pain, it just...came out.

Bob's constant criticizing, Miriam's numerous "smoothies", and her love of this boy. This beautiful, kind, corn-flowered hair boy. He saved her that day, he didn't even know. Lending a hand when no one else did, it gave her hope. And now that was out, nothing else could stay in. That secret, that one huge secret, was plugging the hole in her chest, keeping her intact. Now that hole was making itself known. In the worst way possible.

Arnold backed her up and sat her down on the bed, she was going to make herself sick.

"Shh...It's okay Helga," the coaxing came easily.

She answered with a sob, then she embraced him. With so much tenderness and suprise, it made Arnold stiffen at first, then he wrapped his arms tentatively around her. She needed him, that much was clear.

"Thank you," she whispered so low Arnold wondered if she'd spoken at all.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, then she pulled back.

"Whoa, sorry for the waterworks football-head. Allergy seasons kicking up I guess." she tugged at her collar, a sure sign she was lying.

Arnold gave her a skeptical look, "Helga, tell me the truth. Please."

She stared at her hands, folded in her lap, then out the window, "The moon."

"What?"

She sighed, "When I was younger, I used to look at it when bad stuff would happen." At this she blushed. Sure he could see it with the bright moonlight.

"Big Bob," she scoffed, "Would always yell. At me, at Miriam. But never at Olga. Of course."

Helga looked at him again, her eyes wet still, not even bothering to stop now. What was the point?

"I...I was never good enough Arnold. I never was, I never will be. I tried, I honestly tried. But..."

"It's easier to shove people away." he murmered.

"Exactly."

Arnold looked at her again, "Why would you look at the moon?"

"What?"

"Why would you look at it? What was it that was so special?" he asked patiently.

There was a long pause, and he realized her breathing was shaking.

Helga gave a defeated sigh, "I thought you'd be looking at it too." she said softly.

Without thinking, he touched her hand. To his suprise, she didn't draw back.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

Helga have a nervous laugh. "What's it matter at this point? I have nothing more to lose."

He sighed, "But...I thought you hated me, you called me names, picked on me, you-"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Well, uh, that usually means well, you hate someone..." he stuttered.

She laughed, "Honestly football-head. Think it over."

He looked at her again, searching for something in her eyes.

Helga looked down again, "You should go, wouldn't want Big Bob to mount your head in our TV room or anything..."

He blinked in suprise, "Oh, yeah, I should."

She nodded once.

"So uh..." he rubbed the back of his neck, "You want me to walk you to school tomorrow?"

Helga laughed, "Hey football-head, this doesn't change anything okay? Don't do anything. Now go. I need my beauty sleep."

"Er...alright." he said as he raised the window and slipped down the tree.

He glanced up to see if she was still there, the only answer was the soft clasp of the latch.

Arnold walked home in a daze, not sure about the next day in the least. The girl who had terrorized him for most of his young existence, actually liked, no, _loved_ him.

And for once, he was completely and utterly clueless as to the right thing to do.

A/N: I redid this chapter, it doesn't really change to overall meaning, but I'm soo much more happy with how it turned out.


	8. Somewhere Only We Know

**Somewhere Only We Know**

Patty sluggishly dialed her locker combination the next morning, she hadn't gotten a lot of sleep. A tree branch made a large crash somewhere last night and then she could have swore she heard cries. But then again, she was sleep deprived.

For once, her books and papers didn't fly out. At least, not ALL of them did...only one. A lonesome piece of paper with her name on it.

It wasn't hers, Patty knew. This paper was pink, and it had a nonsensical pattern around the edge.

In it, it said only this:

_Patty-_

_Meet me at the river, under the bridge. It's urgent._

_Love, _

_Someone._

Patty glanced around in bewilderment, hoping that the mysterious author had stayed behind, to make sure she had gotten it. No such luck apparently.

She got a slight wave of nausea when she saw a goo-goo-eyed Curly waving shyly in her direction, but it soon passed when she heard Rhonda Lloyd make a gagging sound behind her.

"Little freak..." the prissy 9 year-old muttered. Then, glancing around, she realized that she did not see Helga.

"Hmm..that's strange..." she mumbled.

"What's strange?"

Patty jumped a little, then realized it was only Arnold.

"Oh, hello Arnold, I was just thinking it's strange that Helga isn't here today."

Arnold looked at his feet, "Er...yes Patty that is really strange...uh, I gotta go." and basically power walked away.

_Was that a flicker of guilt in his eyes? _Patty thought. _Oh well..._ and glancing down at the note again, she hurried off to Mr. Simmon's room.

Her stomach did a massive flip-flop when the bell rang at 3:15. She was minutes away from meeting this mysterious note-writer, and had absolutely NO idea what to expect. Hurrying to her locker, she flung it open, papers exploding out of the metal frame in her haste.

Shoving them back in with only the urgency a nine year-old could muster, she took off out of the double doors and down the street to Hillwood Park.

By the time she reached the bridge, she was out of breath and her hair looked like she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket, but she didn't care.

"Hello Patty," a voice said, making her jump.

Turning slowly, she came face to face with her very own note-writer...

**To be continued...**


	9. Somewhere Only We Know Cont'd

**Somewhere Only We Know**

**(Continued)**

Patty stood there, dumbfounded, her mouth agape. She looked the note-writer up and down, his hideously ugly white cowboy boots, his too tight green pants, and his out-of-date Fonz-like leather jacket. The combination of that with the word "cowboy" in any sense made even a fashion victim gag with nausea. In her opinion at least.

"Sid?" Patty had to stifle a dry chuckle. "What brings you under the bridge?"

He held up his hands defensively, apparently misinterpreting her amused tone for annoyance or anger. "Hey now, I just wanted to talk to you about something..."

"Oh yeah, and what was _so _important that you had to talk to me here?" she motioned to the stone structure above her. "You didn't want to be seen, is that it?"

Sid rubbed his neck, "No, it's just that-"

"Sid," she interrupted. "I'm not blind."

He sighed, "Alright, fine."

Patty smirked, "And your reason for your note on girly paper?"

"Hey! It was NOT girly! Boy Howdy, you really get under my skin!" Sid defended angrily.

"Well, it WAS pink."

Sid's nostrils flared in defiance. "Boys can write on pink paper you know! There's no law or nothin'!"

"Oh get a _grip_. Honestly Sid, you're more of a girl than I am." she smirked, quite aware she was hitting quite a sensitive nerve.

He clenched his fists, before hitting a nerve of his own. "Well you know what Patty? It's not that hard to be!" after this, an awkward pause ensued. "Yeah...I said it!"

Sid gave a nervous glare that was intending to have a threatening expression in his eyes, but sadly, it only came out looking like he was bracing for a punch. And with good reason.

BAM!!

He hardly had time to brace, before Patty's white knuckles made instant contact with the softness of his skull, knocking him flat on his back.

She straightened her shirt, a smug smile gracing her features. She was fully intending to leave, but the question of WHY the note had been written was still unanswered.

"Sid?"

His eyes opened slowly, "Easy peesy lemon squeasy..." he mumbled with a lopsided smile on his face.

Without meaning to, a small chuckle escaped from her lips, reminding her all to well of Harold's habit of saying that. She looked around quickly, to make sure no one could see, as she raised Sid's head a few inches off the ground.

She raised her hand, and slapped his cheek once, "Sid?"

He was alert now, and he put up both hands again, repeating the same gesture at the start of their meeting, "Hey-y, now, don't h-h-hurt me-e-e, I just n-n-eedded to t-t-t-tell you something, sheesh." he stuttered.

"Then get on with it, I have etiquette classes at four." she said as she shoved his head down on the ground again.

Standing up, he then put a hand to his head when he realized just how much impact Patty actually made. "Ahh geez Patty, what's your problem? This really smarts!"

She looked at him with a smug look, "You want another one? Because honestly, it won't be difficult." she started rolling up her her sleeves to make the threat more effective.

Sid took a step back, "No! I was just doing a favor for Harold, that's it!"

Patty paused. "What kind of favor exactly?"

At this, he rubbed his neck, "Well...uhh...he didn't ask me to do it or nothin', but I felt it my duty to-"

"Your _duty_?"

"Yeah, my duty, to protect Harold."

"Since when does Harold need protecting?"

He glared. "Since now."

Patty glared back. "From who exactly?"

"Patty, Harold has a reputation, as a tough guy, and you are going to ruin it."

She laughed, "ME? Harold needs protecting, from me? Haha, good one Sid."

Sid shook his head, "Yeah, he does."

"In what way?" she was still laughing, and it was intensifying with each passing moment.

"He's always had a rep of being, you know, a tough guy, and -" he glared at Patty.

Noticing, she tried to silence herself as best she could.

"And.." he continued begrudgingly, "He could lose that because of you."

Patty looked at him doubtfully, still holding back the numerous giggles trying to escape.

"It's true!"

She laughed, "Look Sid, just because I'm stronger than him, I don't plan on rubbing it in. I'm not like that."

"It's not because you're stronger, it's because..." he trailed off.

Patty rolled her eyes, "Why?" she asked in her regular monotone voice.

"It's just, he treats you..._different_...I guess."

"Different how?" even though her reply sounded monotone to Sid's ears, Patty's heart sped up just a little bit at this.

He rubbed his neck again, which was _really _starting to grate on her nerves. "Well, for one, he defends you whenever we bring you up. Everyone else, he's fine with making fun of, except you! A girl, boy howdy!"

"And he stares at you, all the time, and if everyone at school is as smart as me, well, his reputation will go down the toliet, and soon."

Patty looked at him doubtfully once again, but in her eyes flickered a hint of interest.

"So, I would like it, if you would, uh...leave him alone?" Sid was unsure of her reaction to his request, fully expecting the worst.

Patty stared at him incredulously, not exactly comprehending his request. Who was he, this small little person, telling her what to do? Who to see, who NOT to see more accurately. But then she really looked at him, this boy. He was naïve, and he was confident. A deadly combination. But he was scared also.

_Why not humor the moron,_ she thought to herself. "Oh, I understand Sid, I'll leave him alone, if you think that's okay."

Sid looked shocked, and rocked back on his heels slightly, "Oh, well, I guess you see my point then..."

Patty nodded, "I do. But I got to go, see you later." and she turned on her heel, and was out of sight before Sid had a chance to respond.

"Well, boy howdy that was easy," he said to no one in particular.

Patty made her way overtop the bridge, headed home, smirking all the while.

_Idiot._

A/N: Hey everyone! I spent a few hours rewriting this, making sure it was perfect and more in character, I'm much happier with this one, it's longer in my opinion (though I assume when I post it it won't look nearly as long). So, enjoy!


	10. Etiquette?

A/N: Yes, yes, a revised chapter, I hope it's better than the last one, because that one was REALLY OOC. Anyway, please review and air your thoughts. Thank you!

**Etiquette?**

Harold woke with a start, the TV was still on, showing "Yo Ernest!", and a bag of chips was lying, perfectly content, on his protruding stomach. He was still a bit dazed as he glanced at the clock mounted on the wall, right next to his picture of himself at his bar mitzvah a few months prior. It read "3:45". So he hadn't been asleep long. It sure felt like he had though.

The phone rang again. That must have been what woke him in the first place. Harold mumbled angrily and stretched before hitting "MUTE" on the remote and picking up the out-of-date lime green telephone. Sid's voice rang in his ear.

"Hey Harold! You are—ow!" he paused and made other numerous exclamations of pain before continuing. "gonna love me man, I solved your biggest problem just now."

Harold groaned into the phone for a few moments. "What problem Sid?"

He cleared his throat, "I, the almighty and powerful Sid, have saved your tough-guy reputation."

"Since when do I need saving? Geez."

Sid shrieked into the phone, his voice almost breaking, "Since NOW Harold, are you blind? You were this close-" apparently he still needed to realize people could not see through a phone receiver, "to losing it, completely. And I saved it."

Harold imagined him puffing out his chest in mock-macho-ness at that last declaration, "Oh yeah? And what was going to take it away?" he threatened.

"Oh please, man, you've GOT to see it, I don't know how you can't."

"What?"

"It's so _obvious, _geez. You honestly don't know? Boy Howdy, you ARE blind."

"Shut up Sid!" Harold replied defensively. "At least I'm not a wussy little baby like you are!"

He heard Sid gasp in shock as a response, "I am NOT a wussy baby! Geez Harold, can't you let a person talk without being a complete jerk?"

"You started it!" he accused.

Sid sighed, "Alright, fine, back the point please?"

"Fine." Harold huffed.

For the second time now, he heard Sid clear his throat, his words coming out in a rush, "Alright, so I told Patty to stay away from you because she's always around and you're always staring and soon people are going to notice."

Harold furrowed his brows together, he had missed the first part of his declaration, "What are you _talking _about Sid?"

He sighed, "Dude, you stare at Patty, all the time. And you're an important man, and if you were to talk to her, let alone--" he cringed, though Harold couldn't see, of course. "go out with her, your reputation goes straight down the crapper."

He heard Harold inhale, then exhale sharply. "What? I don't _stare_ at Patty. She's a cool person and all, but come _on_..." he trailed off, not knowing if what he was saying was actually true. Did he stare? No, no. There was no possible way, maybe he, _glanced_ at her once or twice, but come on. Didn't they already go through this whole thing when she beat him at arm wrestling?

Harold cringed at the memory, although he had gotten over his embarrassment, it was still kind of depressing to think about now and then.

"Ah geez Harold, you do, and if everyone is as smart and pays attention as much as me, then your reputation is shot!"

"Shut up!" he bolted upright, the chips catapulting themselves off their resting place and onto the floor.

"No! And besides, I already took care of it." Sid replied calmly.

"Took care of it?? How??"

Sid chuckled, "That's the beauty of it my man, I told her to leave you alone, and bam! She understood me completely."

Harold's jaw dropped, "What's wrong with you Sid?"

He could almost hear the shock radiating off him through the receiver, "Umm...I thought it would help?"

"Well, you didn't," he paused and breathed in slowly, "Patty is really cool, and smart, and funny, and you know what? She was the one person, no, the one _girl _that didn't make me feel stupid, or fat, or any of those things!"

"But, me and Stinky never did that..."

"Yeah right," Harold scoffed, "don't play dumb with me, you guys do!"

"But Harold--"

He reached behind him without looking and slammed the phone down, not even bothering to check if it was even slammed down on the hook.

Rubbing his temples, he exhaled slowly. _Stupid Sid, _he muttered. Then a horrible realization hit him.

_Patty could have believed him._

"Oh crap."

Harold jumped up abruptly, smoothed the crumbs from his shirt, then opened the door with more speed than he thought himself capable of.

And then he was running

...

Patty opened the door slowly, hoping her mother wouldn't pounce on her, scrutinizing over every inch, making sure nothing majorly horrible had happened. Just because she had gotten in a few, well, a LOT, of fights over the years, it still irked her to no end how she was interrogated each and every afternoon after school. Sometimes before breakfast, but only on VERY special occasions.

Seemingly, the coast was clear, so Patty gave herself the o.k. to venture up the stairs to her room. She thought over the afternoon's events as she shook the contents of her schoolbag out onto the bed, chuckling as she did so.

_What a dolt, s_he thought to herself, _he actually believed me. _Or, funnier yet, Sid had thought Patty had believed _him_. Honestly, it was insulting really, people didn't believe her mental capacity to be THAT low.

Did they?

She shrugged in response to her introspective question, it really wasn't that much of a surprise, people didn't take the amount of time necessary to actually see past the facade she presented people with.

Except, one person, that is.

Parry smiled without meaning to, it just, sort of happened whenever she thought of him. Harold irked her to no end, he was rude, crude, and just all around, well, irksome. She sat down on the bed, and stared out the window wistfully. It was such a beautiful day, the sky was the perfect shade of blue, and it seemed to be larger. Typical of a day in late May, so close to summer. It was times like these that Patty wished she were some sort of poetic genius, having the ability to spout off sonnets at the mere sight of a cloud. But, she wasn't, unfortunately.

Suddenly, she spotted a big rush of movement on the street below. On closer inspection, she discovered that it was in fact, Harold. He was weezng and coughing, most likely from running. Patty chuckled, "Harold" and "running" in the same sentence sounded...odd.

_Better go help the poor guy, _she thought, and quickly made her way down the wood stairs and opened the door, and saw that Harold was now on her stoop. He was keeled over, and he didn't seem to have noticed the door had opened.

Patty raised an eyebrow at the pudgy boy currently curled up in a fetal position at her feet, "Harold?"

He looked up, "Pa.." wheeze. "Pa..." wheeze. "Patty..." wheeze. He managed to spit out.

"What are you doing Harold?"

He coughed, and struggled to get to his feet, "I.."wheeze. "I.." wheeze.

Patty sighed, at this rate, she was going to be out on this stoop until she was ninety, "Why don't you come inside Harold? Catch your breath and THEN tell me why you're here, okay?" she made an inward grimace at what questions would arise from her parents, but that bridge will be crossed when it arises.

He just moved his head once in response, she took that as a yes, and led him into the living room. He sat down on the plush red couch.

"Um...let me get you some lemonade, you look..um..." Patty eyed him. Harold was was sweating profousely, beads of sweat pouring down his red-tinged face in large amounts, "...parched."

Without waiting for his answer, she rose from the couch and walked briskly into the kitchen, where, as only Patty's luck would have it, was where both her parents were located.

"Honey, hi, I didn't hear you come in!" her mother's cheerful demeanor greeted her instantly. She eyed Patty up and down before asking, "Anything...interesting, happen at school today?" Which was code for, "Did you bash anyone's face in and sell their livers on Ebay, honey?"

"No." was the answer to both. Always both.

"Pumpkin, is something wrong?" her father directed her attention to him.

"No Dad, I'm just tired."

Suddenly a large belch sounded from the living room. Patty groaned slightly and put a hand to her forehead, closing her eyes as she did so.

"What in heaven's name was THAT?" her mother asked, alarmed.

Patty gave a small smile, "Mom, that's Harold, he, uh...was really tired, so I offered him some lemonade...is that okay?"

Both her parents gave her a skeptical look, no doubt wondering what age Harold was after letting off a whopper of a burp like THAT one. "Well...I suppose so honey, just don't wander off..." Which was code for, "Be nice." Really, after 6 months since her last official beating (that they knew of), you'd THINK they'd have more trust in her.

"I will Mom, thanks..." she gave her parents a quick hug before opening the fridge and grabbing the cool frosted pitcher, and two glasses.

Patty returned to the living room, discovering Harold not in the place he's been only five or so minutes beforehand, but across the room, gazing at her latest school picture. Which was confusing, the wretched thing was forbidden from being taken down, much to Patty's disappointment.

She set the pitcher down, rather noisily, to distract him from that...thing...making him jump.

"Lemonade?" she asked innocently.

"Oh, okay, yeah, sure." he said, having caught his breath finally, in the time Patty was gone. He grasped the clear slender glass and took a gulp, then another, and another, until his whole glass was drained. His thirst finally quenched.

Wiping his mouth with his shirtsleeve, he struggled to think of a good way to ask the question that had been burning in his mind since he got Sid's phone call. But Patty beat him to it.

"So...I ruin your reputation, do I?" she asked suddenly, smirking.

He starting coughing with surprise, "No!!" he yelled, missing Patty's sarcasm by a mile.

She started laughing, "Easy now Harold, I was kidding. I knew it wasn't true."

Harold stared at her incredously, "You did?"

"Honestly Harold, give me a little credit."

He let out a nervous laugh, "Yeah, well, I don't...you know..." he rubbed the back of his neck, "...think that, you know."

She laughed again, "Yeah. Well, I have etiquette class, so..."

"Oh yeah, um, I should be getting home anyway, so..." he rose to leave, as did Patty. "Bye Patty, thanks for the lemonade too."

She smiled, "No problem."

They stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments, until Harold stuck out his hand.

Patty clasped in hesitantly, this was a bit odd.

"Bye," he said, shaking it slowly.

"Bye." she replied.

They stood again in an awkward silence, until they realized they were still clasping each others' hands.

Both letting go in embarrassment, they muttered their goodbyes again as Harold exited the household.

Patty stared down at her hand, the one Harold had held for an extended amount of time. It felt like it was tingling, or coursing with an electric current. Something like that. She blushed as she thought of it just now.

...

Harold stared down at his hand in the alley way a few streets down, the one he had used to hold Patty's. It was feeling...off. Like it wasn't a part of him, was it...tingling?

He blushed, her hand _had _felt nice, soft and warm as he held it for those few moments, and he smiled in spite of himself as he recalled the event.

_Oh, shut up. _He told himself firmly, _Patty's a GIRL. You hate girls, remember Harold? _

But now, this argument didn't seem as...sturdy as it once had been, beforehand.

Before Patty.

Harold shook his head vehemently, trying to physically clear his head. No, he still hated girls. Didn't he?

He wasn't so sure now.


	11. The Wonders of the Subconscious

A/N: Hello readers! Just to let a reviewer know, the events in the old chapter 10 WILL happen, just later in the story. I felt like the story needed more...meat I guess is the right word. It seemed kind of flimsy in my opinion. I hope I didn't alienate any of my readers by doing so, because honestly, I was just trying to make it more enjoyable, it was kind of annoying when I read it back, haha. Anyway, enjoy!

**The Wonders of the Subconscious**

Helga shut her window, watching the boy with the hair the color of corn silk, walking back to his home. Home. How foreign a concept that was to her. She had parents, Arnold did not. But his life was so much brighter than hers seemed, and for that she was jealous. Then the realization hit her full force.

**I told him. He knows.**

Suddenly, her chest constricted, the muscles turning and twisting into all sorts of unnatural shapes. Breath came in shallower and shallower, until Helga felt she was going to faint. Although she was aware of the consequences that that confession would have, her romantic side was not oblivious to it.

Maybe, just maybe...

_No, _she thought, not even allowing herself to even finish that...beautiful...thought.

How would this change things, even Helga's earlier statement sounded unbelievably moronic to her now.

"_This doesn't change things, okay?" _

How ridiculous that was. Of _course _it would change things, what on earth was she thinking? She had told her deepest, most forbidden of all things to tell. To the one person she wasn't supposed to.

Still feeling like she had no air whatsoever in her lungs, Helga bounded off the bed and tiptoed as fast as she could to the bathroom. She turned on the faucet, gasping, then splashed the ice-cold water on her tear-streaked face. That, oddly enough, seemed to open her lungs. She took a deep breath, and, looking at herself in the slightly smudgy mirror, she was filled with disgust.

Her eyes were blood-red, blonder hair poking out in all different directions, tears still evident on her cheeks. But there was something else, something else Helga couldn't exactly place. There was a difference in her appearance, but what it was exactly, she didn't know. She looked worse than ever, which was quite an achievement on her part, but that wasn't it. Not exactly.

That was what disgusted her. Even when she was younger, she was capable of knowing _exactly _who she was, what she was supposed to feel. Everything could fit on a list, if she made up her mind to do so.

Everything could be placed somewhere, belong somewhere. Poetry in her head, Arnold in her heart, and anger in her eyes.

But that was it, Helga realized. There was no anger there. Not in her eyes, nor in any other part of her face. The hardness of her demeanor was no longer there. Jaw was no longer jutted out in defiance of the world, but even with her face, seemingly content with whatever the world was going to throw. No flame of anger in her round eyes, but something like...vulnerability. It seemed...wrong. To be vulnerable in any part of her. But she was, and she admitted it now, in the privacy of the pink wallpapered bathroom, but acting as if she were on trial for the worst crime imaginable.

Her heart. Of course. Helga felt ridiculous for not even noticing it. He was her weakness, she always knew it, never admitted it. Her shoulders sagged with defeat, as she turned off the faucet and slumped back to her bedroom.

Helga shut the curtains with much more force than was needed, desperate to shut out the moonlight that had illuminated every aspect of the night's events. And she no longer wanted to see anything that Arnold wanted to see.

Climbing under the covers, she cuddled her teddy bear, with such a grip it would have suffocated, had it been able to breathe in the first place. Exhausted, she succumbed to sleep withing seconds.

Then, Helga began to dream.

...

She was in a clearing, where it was, she didn't know. It was surrounded by beautiful birches and old maples. What was odd was there was a sun in the sky, shining bright, but there was also a raincloud, right next to it, pouring down rain on one side of the clearing.

There was an old man, clothed in a brown robe, a single pendant around his neck, she couldn't tell what it was, he was too far away. He stood with one side in the pouring rain, the other, in the sunshine. He said something very softly, yet Helga could hear it.

"_Vous avez un conflit intérieur, il doit être résolu." _he said, as if stating the most obvious of matters.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I don't understand."

He smiled, as if he knew something she did not.

Arnold, beautiful even more so in Helga's dreams, appeared on the bright side on the clearing, without warning.

He came closer, closer, until he was eye-level with her. _"Le coeur et la tête doivent coïncider." _Arnold murmured. He leaned in, so did she, their lips touched, electricity flowed through her, and in her mind's eye, she could see the old man's pendant, clear as if it were in front of her face.

A dove. A white dove, an olive branch in its beak.

The pitter-patter of the rain stopped, giving way completely to the golden rays of sunlight, bathing the two young ones, the wonder of young love between them, and the old man, who somehow knew everything. Smiling, he receded into the trees. His job was done.

Their kiss ended, and Arnold leaned his forehead against hers.

"_La vie longue le coeur," _he whispered.

...

Helga woke with a start, not know if it was morning or still, well, early morning, based on the curtain covering of her window.

"I know what to do," she whispered furtively.

...

A/N (again): Okay, I know this probably isn't very long, because when my stories look long on my computer and then I upload them, they only amount to say, a paragraph. Anyway, I used a ton of symbolism in the dream, the rain and sun symbolized the inner conflict waging within Helga, and also I used the language of French because it's one of the languages of love, the old man represents wisdom in resolving conflicts, and his pendant (the white dove with the olive branch) represents peace of mind from resolving said conflicts, which is why Helga can only see it once she's kissed. It makes a lot more sense if you delete this url, type in freetranslation, and translate those French words, I think it makes the story more dramatic, haha. So, anyway, review and let me know what you think!


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